Think Piece: “End of Days” is Either the Worst or the Funniest Song Ever Released

by Dustin

thisguyisinsane

Disclaimer: It has been a very slow period for new music releases. This think-piece is a product of that. Try not to take it too seriously.

If you ever went to public school, chances are you knew “that kid.” The one who still ate glue and urinated in his pants at recess in the fifth grade. If hip-hop sub-genres were elementary school students, conspiracy theory rap would be “that kid.” Whether it’s Immortal Technique rapping about his incest-gang-rape fantasies, or Vinnie Paz being himself, this certain pocket of music is an unbridled source of entertainment for all the wrong reasons. While legions of woke individuals gobble up the mass of unsubstantiated facts spewed by these artists, unintelligent sheeple such as myself have the unfortunate pleasure of sitting on the outside and having a quick laugh.

Enter “End of Days” by the aforementioned Vinnie Paz. The magnum opus of ludicrous truther rap, and perhaps one of the funniest hip-hop songs to ever be released.

If you’ve now taken the initiative of turning on the song, you’ll discover that it starts with the hook. This hook is sung by some goon named Block McCloud. Honestly, it’s pretty unlistenable so we’re going to skip over it. All you really need to know is that he’s questioning the average American’s bravery for not believing all the “truth” that Vinnie Paz is about to drop upon us. Let’s educate ourselves, starting from the top of the first verse.

Everybody a slave, only some are aware,
That the government releasin’ poison in the air,
That’s the reason I collect so many guns in my lair,
I ain’t never caught slippin’, never under-prepared.

At this point, Mr. Paz has already invalidated anything he has to say in the rest of “End of Days” by admitting he believes in chemtrails (the idea that the contrails jets produce are actually poison being released by the government for various reasons). If you think about it, this is actually pretty kind of him because it takes out the need for us to do any fact checking. Not that the average Vinnie Paz fan knows what “fact checking” is, but for the rest of us this takes out a very time consuming step.

More importantly however, is that Vinnie Paz is going to protect himself from airborne poisons with guns. Though I am not personally a chemist or an expert in firearms, I am at least seventy percent sure you cannot gun down airborne poison.

Moving on.

There’s fluoride in the water, but nobody know that,
It’s also a prominent ingredient in Prozac,
How could any government bestow that?

Ah yes, you know what else is in water? Hydrogen. You know what else hydrogen is a prominent ingredient in? Hydrogen bombs. Therefor water is dangerous and we should all avoid it. Especially when you consider that all humans to ever die ingested water at some point in their life. Spooky. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of how chemistry actually works. Though Prozac’s chemical formula does technically contain fluorine, this is entirely irrelevant to the fluoridation process of water. Who would have thought that Vinnie would make uneducated claims? Oh right, everyone.

Fun fact, wine, raisins, and black tea all contain more fluoride than fluoridated municipal water. I’m sure that’s a government conspiracy too. Big Raisin is trying to control our minds.

That’s not all that I’m here to present you,
I know about the black pope in Solomon’s Temple Yeah,
about the Vatican assassins and how they will get you,
And how they cloned Barack Hussein Obama in a test tube.

At this point I’m assuming that Vinnie Paz realized he actually has zero fucking background on anything he’s rapping about. As such, he’s reverted to just stating that he “knows” these things to sound smart to whatever moron is willing to believe him. I’ll be keeping my eyes open for those Vatican assassins though, I wouldn’t want them to get me. That sounds bad.

At the rate this song is devolving into a caricature of conspiracy theorists, I’m genuinely surprised we’ve not seen a “jet fuel can’t melt steel beams” meme.

Who you think the motherfuckers that crashed in the tower?
Who you think that made it turn into ash in an hour?

Never mind.

The Bird Flu is a lie, the Swine Flu is a lie,
Why would that even come as a surprise?
Yeah, the Polio vaccine made you die,
It caused cancer and it cost a lot of people their lives.

You know what actually cost a lot of people their lives? Polio. The vaccine itself is actually astoundingly safe, to the point that pregnant women and people with HIV/AIDs are allowed to have it with very little risk. Even the oral Polio vaccine only causes complications in about three cases out of every million vaccines administered. Compare that to the absolutely horrendous rates of polio during the 1950s, and it’s clear as day how important the vaccine was. Then again, if you’re taking medical advice from Vinnie Paz, I don’t really expect you to be able to read any of what I just wrote.

Oh, and I’ve had Swine Flu. As far as it being a lie, my three soiled pairs of boxers from shitting myself while vomiting into a bucket beg to differ. 2010 was a rough year.

Honestly, at this point I don’t even remember where I was going with this think-piece. This was supposed to be a concluding paragraph, but listening to the song and reading the lyrics has absolutely fried my brain. I think I wanted to make the case for this being the most accidentally funny song ever released; however, the more I experienced it the more I felt a compulsive desire to shove a railroad spike through my temple. At some point the limescale remover Vinnie Paz drinks for breakfast stopped destroying his vocal chords and started eating away at his grey matter. This is the least professional article I’ve ever written, and I don’t care. I’m too tired from listening to this bullshit.

Fuck Vinnie Paz. “End of Days” is trash. Vaccinate your kids. Goodnight world.

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Tyler and Ryan of Poor English Discuss The Band and its Beginnings

by Dustin

poorenglish

You learn things really quickly while sitting down and speaking with Porland’s Poor English. First and foremost, their English is actually really good. Shocker, right? Secondly, Tyler is the talkative one. He probably could have conducted this interview single-handedly and had it finished sooner than we did.

Most importantly however, is that it became very clear that this project is a labor of love filled with extremely passionate musicians. For as much as we loved Poor English when we reviewed their debut EP, it wasn’t clear yet just how open ended and fun this band was as a whole. Fortunately, Tyler and Ryan took a little time out of their first half of 2017 (yeah, this interview took a while) to discuss the group with us.

We think you’ll come to find that they are the biggest little band you’ll ever see.


EN: How did the Poor English band come together? I know there were some other projects with band member involvement such as Sunbather, so how did this lineup end up meeting?

Tyler: Good question! A few years back, I moved to Portland from Indiana where I was involved with some other projects. One was called Cool Dad, which Joe was also a part of. That was more a college, dance, house party type band, but I digress…I was super bummed to leave that project, but more importantly my band called Mid-American. So I put an ad on Craigslist that essentially said “I want to make a band. But I don’t have a drum kit or a place to play.”

Somehow Ryan thought that was fine and decided to email me back. So we met in October of 2014 and jammed a lil bit and then just kinda stopped playing together. Fast-forward like 5 months and we decided to give it another go. We started gelling big time. So we tried out a bunch of different musicians and vocalists. None of them quite worked out. And Sunbather had just released their album Braneworld, which Ryan and I couldn’t get enough of. We thought Joe’s math-rock-esque background and unique vocal style is exactly what we were looking for. So I reached out to him and he was super onboard. Over the course of a long time we had sent him scratch tracks of the 5 songs you hear on the Ep and he would crank out some vox and guitar licks and send it back. Pretty much an instant perfect fit. That’s pretty much it.

EN: There’s a lot I could say about such a refreshing band forming out of Tyler being a music freeloader – but I wont for the sake of professionalism haha. With that in mind, was there a conscious goal to have somewhat of a pop-punk revivalist sound when you guys were starting out? I mean, you guys have such a unique blend of throwback and forward thinking that it feels like it has to have been planned.

TYLER: I’ll definitely let the other dudes chime in, but honestly, nope. I must say, I have been somewhat confused.. or maybe surprised by all the folks pegging us as pop-punk. Because to me, pop-punk is Four Year Strong, Blink 182, Bowling for Soup, and the like. Be that as it may, the people have spoken.

I think we all have a taste for technical music and atypical sounds that play well off of each member’s unique sound. In other words, I think the three of us fit like a glove. Definitely not planned, but it ended up working out very well.

I’m really interested to see how our new members’ sounds will mold any upcoming tunes we write. Joe being Georgia, we have adopted two new members to play live and are finally getting around to starting on the writing process.

Also, isn’t there a quote out there about the best artists stealing work as their own? Something like that? Yeah well, I like to steal the actual musicians.

EN: The “pop-punk” sound I’m thinking of is more of an alternative thing rather than the Bowling for Soup and Blink 182 era of commercial skate punk; I suppose that’s all semantics though. Genre definitions are stupid.

Tyler: Indeed they are!

Ryan: I definitely agree with Tyler in that the sound wasn’t planned at all. It definitely just came together based upon having similar backgrounds and taste, but also as individuals trying to find our own sound, which was luckily pleasing to the ear when it all combined into the creation of this EP.

EN: How did you guys end up releasing the EP through Darling Recordings? I actually found your tunes through being a member of the Sweetheart Record Club that Nick does for the label.

Tyler: Oh hell yeah. His record club is awesome. I didn’t realize that’s how you first heard us.

I am actually originally from Indiana. Nick and I met when we were in college. We didn’t attend the same school, but we had a lot of mutual friends. Drew (Goodmorning Players) and Ben (FLANCH) were both in Cool Dad as well. And they’re both good friends of Nick. So that’s how we got hooked up. I was really digging what Darling was doing at the time. We had chatted while Ryan and I were first writing and I would just bounce early demos off of him. And it just seemed to moved forward pretty organically from there.

EN: I actually bought the record club subscription because I already owned the FLANCH and Hales Corner projects, and then I heard a song off Poor English and thought the album art was cool. So really, you guys having good taste in art suckered me into the club. It was a good decision.

I’m assuming the working relationship between you guys and Darling is pretty solid then, given your history with Nick and company?

Tyler: Oh yeah absolutely. It’s been smooth because he is willing to be as hands-on or as hands-off as the artists want him to be. Oh, and thanks for the kind words man!

EN: No worries! I’m very much a fan of the band, it’s awesome to have been there from the first release. Speaking of which, were you guys surprised at how Everlaster caught on? I saw it getting TV spots, it also has a ton of streams on Spotify. That cut is such a breath of fresh air that even from the sidelines, seeing it blow up was amazing.

Tyler: Ha, yes! It was wild. It seemed like we were watching it all happen from the sidelines as well. So much stuff was happening around us (and it) for a while there, without us even really doing anything. [We’re] so thankful that it ended up on Fresh Finds. That was huge. And as far as the TV spot? No idea how that happened. The dude who runs social media for the Trailblazers somehow found it and just decided he was going to use it as the “local music spotlight”. I don’t watch basketball, so I’m not sure how that works, but I assume they have a local music spotlight every so often. Should we have gotten paid for that? Nick? Wanna help us out here? [Laughs]

EN: Does seeing one of your songs catch like that make you feel pressure on yourselves to make something that clicks with listeners in the same type of way?

Tyler: Eh, I would say initially it does. But really in the long-run it doesn’t. It would be cool if our tunes did click with folks in that way, but that’s not why we wrote this music in the first. So I try not to let myself get into that headspace, because that can be dangerous. Plus, if you really think about it, it is still a very small thing in the grand scheme of things.

Ryan: Yeah, I don’t really worry about it at all. It’s cool that it did catch on a little bit, but writing for someone else’s wants or needs never carries as much weight as writing for yourself. I think people will connect more with the music your write if you approach writing this way.

EN: The vibe I’m picking up, and always have, from you guys with those sort of responses is that the artistry is more important than anything else when approaching your music. With that in mind, how important do you think it is to routinely push the boundaries of the Poor English sound going forward?

Tyler: I’d say it’s huge. Speaking for myself – and bare with me here, really not trying to sound pretentious – I have found recently that I don’t really fall in love with an artist or a record unless they’re pushing themselves, and creating sounds that I haven’t really ever heard before. I find that my Spotify library has become extremely diverse for this reason. So as far as writing goes, I am always looking to create new sounds and rhythms. Atypical sounds and the like. A big inspiration for me here is Chris Hainey from Maps & Atlases. He is the reason I am starting to build out my kit with more than just your regular drum shells and cymbals. And the 5 of us are constantly sending each other new tunes in our group chat. Finding that next piece of inspiration is huge, too.

EN: This is something that I don’t think enough artists discuss, so to expand on that, do you think it’s inevitable that your sound will evolve as your tastes in music outside your own change?

Tyler: I think it’s inevitable for sure. It’s important to note though, that there is a huge difference between inspiration and influence. A lot of greener bands or musicians may end up sounding a lot like a certain band or bands, because they are pulling so heavily from said groups and you can really hear the influence. I think it’s very important to be aware of that difference as you write, as to not lean too heavily into an influence, but rather take inspiration and learn to form your own sound.

EN: Do you find that a lot of smaller bands struggle to establish their own sound?

Tyler: I think newer bands often struggle, maybe not smaller bands as we are super small. But yeah, it all comes back to being able to distinguish between influence and inspiration, in my honest opinion. Also not focusing too much on what they think they should sound like, and focusing more on whatever the hell comes out of your own mind.

And by newer bands, I mean a band made of up of musicians who don’t have tons of experience playing and writing. I was in a band once when I was young and we sounded like a straight up blend of 3 of my favorite bands. You could pick out which songs were influenced by which band. No bueno.

EN: Since you guys have added a couple of others for live shows and such, I have to ask, will they be actively involved in the writing and recording process going forward?

Tyler: That’s actually a discussion that’s been ongoing for some time now. The way we’re working on this one is that Ryan and I are writing songs and if anyone has ideas they want to try out or throw into the song, then by all means. So for example, we’re working on a song right now – working title is Bonfire – and have it up on Google Drive that we, Darling, Joe, and the other dudes who play live with us, have access to. So if anyone wants to grab it and write a part for it then we want them to do so. Joe has taken a liking to this tune and immediately started writing for it. Matt and Michael are certainly welcome to add to it. But if they don’t want to or aren’t inspired, then no sweat. I don’t know if that makes sense.

We’re sort of just making it an open process to whoever feels inspired. Obviously Ryan and I are writing on every tune though.

EN: Would you say that you’re aiming for a sort of…Broken Social Scene approach? Where anyone contribute if they feel like it, but that you and Ryan will almost always be the core band members involved in every song?

Tyler: It seems to be that that is how it has worked out. Not necessarily intentionally, but yeah it’s looking to be that way. Kinda cool.

EN: What’s the experience like, playing proper gigs for the first time? I know a lot of young musicians who, going into their first performances, had near anxious breakdowns.

Ryan: I don’t feel that we get very nervous playing shows as we all have experience playing live. Most of our shows are very intimate and we’re playing for people we know for the most part, so there’s really nothing for us to be nervous about. Playing our songs off the EP live has let me see how people physically react to the music, whether or not they’re dancing, just spectating, etc. Those experiences, I feel, are in some way shaping the new music we’re working on (at least it’s affecting me and my contributions) as we hope to take our live performances and energy to a whole new level.

Tyler: I agree. It’s been fun to gauge reactions and talk to folks afterwards. And having been playing the same set for so long makes it that much more comfortable, but it also motivates me to push our sound even further so we can create the best experience possible for our fans.

Also, I’ve been playing shows since 8th grade so I’m past the nerves for the most part. The first few times I had to sing some shit on stage with Poor English was a little nerve racking because that’s a new thing for me, but I love doing it now.